Matt Striker Segment
Update:
JR informs us that Trish Stratus has a separated shoulder and it’s being put back into it’s place.
In the arena:
The music of Matt Striker hit in the arena as he made his way down to the ring. Striker gets on the mic and says that he was not originally scheduled to be here, but with all due respect, there is another miracle occurring right now. He said that miracle is that there is actually an intelligent person right here in Kentucky. He said he knows Kentucky is famous for many things like fried chicken, illegally recruited basketball players, the one thing it’s not famous for is being an educated state, but they are right on par with the rest of the country. Striker said he has some good news for ya’ll, his name is Matt Striker and he’s going to be their teacher. He said as an added bonus, he has gone out and found one of the smartest men to ever come from Kentucky, so join him in welcoming Eugene! Eugene made his way down to the ring and then hugged Striker. Striker shoved him away and said this is exactly what he’s talking about. He said that this is a perfect reason, regardless of how tempted you may be, to not marry your cousin!
Striker said he’s going to take an educated guess; you’re confused right now aren’t you? He said he brought Eugene out here to make an example out of him. He said he’s willing to bet that Eugene can’t even spell his own name. Eugene says he can spell it, and Striker hands him the chalk and tells him to write his name on his blackboard. Striker says he has no idea what Ashley Judd sees in you people. Striker goes to see what Eugene has spelled, and it says “Matt Striker Loves Poop!” Eugene laughed and then Eugene started a “You Love Poop” chant. Striker said this is disrespectful, and he said poop isn’t even a word and he shouldn’t capitalize it! Eugene was then caught picking his nose and there’s a booger on his finger and he rolled it. Eugene went to put it in his mouth and Striker stopped him. He said to forget all of this, if there is one thing that he takes away from tonight, you do not pick your nose and then attempt to eat it! Striker asked if he understood and Eugene nodded. Eugene then rammed the booger into Striker’s mouth and nailed him with the Stunner!
